I don’t know about you, but I have been very interested in the initiatives, lectures and resolutions that went on here in Toronto at Union of Reform Judaism’s Biennial which concluded this past week.

Having had the opportunity over the course of my career, to develop close relationships with a number of Reform rabbinical leaders and a good number of active Reform Jews, I have always found it worthwhile to hear what the movement is up to.

As one might expect, I often disagree with the decisions the movement makes and I certainly have issues with the basic premise of the movement itself, however, I have found time and again that the people themselves are caring, proud Jews with a desire to help the Jewish people in many ways.

Sometimes, I believe, that the ways they choose are not the best, but I cannot stress enough that the majority of those people making the choices are well meaning, caring, openly and proudly Jewish people.

However, at this year’s gathering, there was certainly something reported in the news that gave me cause to write, maybe cause to be concerned and even to worry.

The news from the Biennial gathering this year is still somewhat sketchy, however, while there is much to comment about, I would only “stick my nose” into a matter if I felt that something was especially off.

I have to comment on and take exception with the remarks of MK Avishai Braverman made on November 4. Dr Braverman, speaking for the most part on the topic of Israel’s efforts with minorities, decided to add that the Haredi population of Israel has to “go back to work” and in doing so, Dr Braverman continues to fan the fire of sinat chinam (hatred) among us. Of course, this was just one comment in a longer part of his presentation, where he decided to cavalierly stereotype and insult the Orthodox community of Israel.

When the Reform movement chose to discuss the need for fairer treatment of the Arab population in Israel, it was something I would anticipate. However, when a Keynote speaker decides to make inflammatory comments about a segment, a sizable segment of the Jewish world, he is simply widening the wedge of mistrust, misunderstanding and even hatred among Jews for absolutely no reason.

He stated that when Ben Gurion decided to give assistance and support to the Orthodox population of Israel, it was then a small community, yet now, it has grown many times over and still expects the same assistance. They, he added, should just go back to work.

Braverman’s reading into Ben Gurion’s actions may or may not be correct.

Ben Gurion may have agreed with the semi-reform affiliated American Jewish Congress who concluded that following the Holocaust, Orthodoxy was on its last legs and would soon be nonexistent.  As incorrect as that turned out to be, it is simply not the point.

The point, for a MK to stand up at a major conference of Reform Judaism and insultingly critic the Orthodox community, the Torah community, there is only one reason to do so.

The only reason to do so is to add to the unfortunate split between Reform Jews and Orthodox Jews. Without a single Orthodox Jew present and with the remarks being so disparagingly negative, one can only conclude that his purpose in making them is to add to the distrust and misunderstandings separating our communities.

Let’s be frank, the Orthodox community in Israel is not a pariah, it is not filled with uncaring and irresponsible people searching for hand-outs. Sure, there are issues, every community has issues. Certainly some people take advantage of the system. Yet, the overwhelming majority of Torah Jews are honest, hard working, responsible, caring and Gd fearing people.

You can choose to disagree with them, but you certainly cannot insult them, stereotype them or dismiss them.

For an elected official of our homeland to publicly insult and ridicule our community should not have happened. It should not have been allowed in this venue and it certainly should not have been tolerated by any Jewish organization, especially one that stands for tolerance.

I want to be clear, I would not allow someone to ridicule or insult any Jew, no matter how different than we, in our Shul and I believe that it is our Torah that teaches us this.

We have our differences, we can be critical of each other’s beliefs, we can differ on many things, but we cannot openly insult, disenfranchise or demean other Jews. To have done so during the Reform movement’s own conference is a sad and disappointing action that does no good for any of us.

It taints the entire movement and sadly, it just separates us all even more.

I am not sure if I was surprised or not when I read the news that the Quebec College of Physicians has endorsed euthanasia in certain “extreme” (sic) cases. The Quebec College is known for its liberal attitude, but I have to say that their desire to legislate mercy killing, even under specific guidelines, is truly something reminiscent of Sodom.

I realize that most people envision Sodom as a place filled with sexual corruption, but without a question one of the most serious atrocities of Sodom was their legislation of laws allowing people to act in a cruel, animalistic manner. They made giving charity illegal, they made taking in guests illegal, they made all forms of assistance and care illegal. They used the legal system to create a society that kept out all people who needed assistance in any way. Be it a place to sleep for a night, a meal or a loan- they were all illegal.

The legal system of a society is a clear sign of the morals and goals of that society. It is one thing to discourage charity, as horrible as that would be, it is quite another to make the giving of charity a criminal offense!

When a society decides it is going to create laws for its citizens, it does so in a way that exhibits the morals and ethics of the society. Be it prostitution, recreational drug use, doing business on holidays or any other set of laws a society creates, good or bad, these laws show the ethics of the people and how they want to live.

In Canada today I believe that mercy killing is practiced. I believe that it happens in hospitals and I believe that many people and authorities turn a blind eye to those who practice it.

Yet, in Canada it is still illegal.

We have laws that represent our belief that human life is sacred. Our laws enforce our belief that the taking of a human life, even if the one doing so has good intentions, even if the victim him or herself wants to die- cannot be taken. The laws represent our beliefs that if someone takes a life, call it mercy killing or not, they are subject to the full enforcement of the law.

For the Quebec College of Physicians to advocate that our society should legislate the ability, even under limited circumstances, for a doctor, a hospital or just a person to be able to legally take the life of another human being is an act of Sodom, an act of murder.

As Jews, as moral people, we have to let them know that this is unacceptable. We cannot allow our society to begin the slippery slide downward to one that does not consider human life to be holy, sacred or above the whims of a hospital or particular doctor.

Even more, the actions of the Quebec College of Physicians are simply the first step to allowing people to decide when life should end, who is worthy to live, who is a “real” person and who is not.

Now they are advocating for the right to allow doctors to actively kill certain patients. If we allow this, we are not only allowing murder to be made legal, but we are also starting the process of redefining who is human, who has a right to live, who should die and when.

It is starting with the ill, the elderly, the terminal. However, will it end there? If they are allowed to legislate mercy killing, how far away are we from legislating the killing of babies with birth defects or people from the wrong country or of the wrong race?

I am going overboard?

Have you ever heard of a scientist named Francis Crick? He is one of the distinguished professors who received the Nobel Prize for his discovery and explanation of DNA. Certainly, together with his partner, Crick is someone who made an enormous difference in the world. Where would we be without his work on DNA?

What you may not know is that later in life he advocated for legislation that a human being is to only be considered a “living human” thirty days after birth. This way, he advocated, if a baby is born with a birth defect or a degenerative disease he could be killed, as long as it is done before he is legally considered to be alive. He advocated that a human life be defined only after the baby is thirty days old.

His idea was brought forth for legislation and thankfully, was rejected.

Yet, how different is his position than the position of the Quebec College of Physicians? They advocate that a human can be killed by euthanasia at the end of their life and Crick advocated that a baby could be killed at the very beginning of its life.

Both opinions, as different as they are, legislate that certain people do not have a right to life.

This time it is mercy killing, what would it be the next time?

Our society cannot allow the legislation of mercy killing. Our allowing this is reasonably the first step towards giving the government, giving people, giving doctors the ability to choose who should live and who should die.

The College has the ability to heal, to help and to do no harm.

They may be well meaning, but this time, doctors- heal thyself.

No matter how hard you try, sometimes one simply cannot get away from the "important" news of the week. Of course, the word important might not be as literal as we would like.

For instance, has anyone with a pulse not heard about the story with the famous American Balloon Boy?

Was there any newspaper, national news or radio show that did not repeatedly keep us all up to the date, minute by minute on the this story and all of its many turns and surprises?

OK, while it was actually happening everyone was praying for the little boy and we all hoped that he would be fine. However, when the balloon finally landed and the boy was not in it our prayers became even more fervent. How could we not feel for the parents of a little boy who apparently fell hundreds of feet from a balloon, to what most certainly was a horrible death?

Then we start to hear details and comments that cause the media, law enforcement and the general public to believe that the entire story was a hoax and that they boy was never in the balloon, never in trouble and actually a part of a plot hatched by his father.

Now, who knows what the truth actually is, yet, we hear that the whole thing was dreamt up by his father to cash in on an idea to make a reality show about his "wacky inventions" and the young boy was simply "an actor in a play" whose goal was to pull on the emotional heartstrings of people worldwide.

If it was a hoax- I suppose the criminal and civil courts will deal with it. However, I have another angle to discuss, one that is also bothersome, but not as obvious.

This episode shows us how far someone will go for his fifteen minutes of fame. Here a father is prepared to tear our heart from us, to cause each of us to empathize the sadness, fear and pain that the boy and his parents must feel in order to get his own "reality" TV show.

He caused hundreds of thousands of dollars to be spent, thousands of people to shed tears and the entire world to stand still, even for a moment, in fear that this little boy had died a lonely, frightening and painful death.

And, he did it so that he could get onto TV. Reality TV that is neither reality, nor TV.

This genre known as reality TV has taken our world even lower than before. Imagine, actually, you don't need to imagine, it is already happening, the outrageous things that we watch people do for a few dollars and a quarter of an hour of fame.

People actually pick a spouse based on reality TV, they repeatedly risk their lives for reality TV, they embarrass themselves and others for reality TV and they humiliate others for reality TV.

Can we imagine someone picking a wife or husband as a part of a TV show? How about having plastic surgery on national television or living with strangers as the world watches your every move?

Reality TV is our generations version of the lions eating the Roman slaves in front of a coliseum filled with people.

Do we not wonder how could a society sink so low as to be entertained by the killing of a human? Do we not condemn, with total disgust, ancient societies for public executions, fights to the death or the public humiliation of a visible minority?

Yet, are we not doing the same thing with out reality TV? What message are we sending our daughters when they see ten women offering themselves to an "eligible bachelor", whose only eligibility is that he is a multi-millionaire?

What message are we giving our children when we have television shows where women are judged on their beauty and awarded free cosmetic surgery as a prize? Should we be surprised that so many young people have low self esteem and a negative body image about themselves?

What about the message we send when we allow people to humiliate themselves by eating insects, swim with man eating predators or jump out of airplanes to make a few dollars and a few minutes of fame? Do we really believe that fame or money is more important than life or that our own dignity should be given up so that we can be on national TV?

Now we have a man who caused the entire world to feel pain over the "hoaxed" death of a little boy, so that we could have a chance to disgrace himself further for some cash.

My friends, what the Romans did in their coliseum or the matadors did in their stadiums or the people of Salem did to their "witches" seems barbaric, cruel and a denial of the dignity of man- what we are doing with our reality TV is the same thing, only in high definition, full colour and surround sound is the exact same thing.

When we allow entertainment to tell our children and our selves that "reality" is that people will do anything for money, anything at all, then we cannot question why the world is so degraded.

When we have girls who want cosmetic surgery as a Bat Mitzvah gift or boys who believe that they only can marry a super model, we should not be surprised. That is exactly what we are allowing when we allow reality TV into our homes and our lives.

The truth is, none, absolutely none of these shows portray reality. They portray a world that is prepared to sell everything; self respect, dignity, marriage and even life itself for a dollar.

That might be how the world could be, but it certainly is not how the world should be and without a question it is not the world we want for ourselves and our families.

Reality shows make it possible for a desperate person to give up everything we hold dear for fame and fortune. It is a price that we cannot afford to pay and one that we should strongly object to in every way possible.

I feel sorry for the little boy whose father used him as a way to create one of these shows. The father who is willing to sacrifice his child to the Gd of TV simply should not be a father.

If there was ever a reason to require someone to get a license to become a parent, this certainly is one.

I don’t know if you have noticed it yet, but in what is called, “Old Thornhill”, that is north of us on Yonge St, there is a sign on an attractive storefront with the words, “Gates of Zion” in English and the Hebrew equivalent, Shaarei Tzion.

What is it?

Well, it appears to be a Shul, a storefront shul opening its doors in a less obviously Jewish area. Is it outreach? Perhaps a new effort to reach Jewish students?

Not at all, it is the new home of a centre of missionary activity that previously was called “City of David” and had operated in the plaza by Bathurst & Steeles.

Simply put, it is, in my opinion, a church masquerading as a synagogue. Similar to the famous Jews for Jesus and other similar Hebrew/Christian missionaries, the Gates of Zion is the enemy. Let us strip away our PC, their goal is to convert Jews to Christianity and they do it in what I believe is a deceptive & destructive manner.

They are the ones who play on the ignorance of our brothers & sisters, they are the ones who remind us how seriously important our outreach activities are- they take Jews and take away their heritage replacing it with a falsified form of Christianity wrapped in a Talis.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not writing about Christians. They believe in their religion, they practice their religion and have very little in common with the people behind Gates of Zion.

I am writing about a church that, I believe, uses Jewish ritual & Jewish customs and corrupts them to a point that they can be used to convert Jews into the belief system of Christianity and then have the audacity to call themselves a Synagogue and their minister a rabbi (sic).

The saddest part of it all is that we have had and continue to have the ability to stop this charade in its tracks. We have, without question, an effective way to make the entire Hebrew/Christian movement a thing of the past, no longer a threat to any Jew and totally ineffective.

That is education, outreach & community.

The only Jews that can be enticed into the arms of this enemy, is a Jew who is not knowledgeable of his or her own beliefs and not a part of a caring Jewish community.

We all talk about the importance of outreach, of Jewish education and of opening our homes and community to Jews who have not had the opportunity to experience Judaism fully. Yet, if we would really take this to heart, truly reach the disenfranchised, the lonely, the uneducated then no Jew would fall for the deception that calls itself Gates of Zion (Shaarei Tzion). If we really would open our heart, our home and give of our time to our fellow Jews we could easily put an end to any Jew being unable to critically evaluate the half truths and “out of context” quotations that the missionaries use.

Any success that the Jews for Jesus, City of David or Shaarei Tzion has, is a direct result of our not acting on out heartfelt belief of reaching out to our fellow Jews.

Every time a Jew feels lonely, unwanted or ignored by our community they become easy prey for the tactics of these deceptive missionaries. Every time a Jew does not have sufficient Jewish knowledge to realize that they have been brought into a church masquerading as a Shul, they become targets for conversion.

The bottom line, we think that it is nice to reach out, it is great that we open our homes, hearts and wallets to help Jews become more actively and knowledgably Jewish, and, we are correct, it is. Yet, we do not see the seriousness of the battle being waged.

Every Jewish soul whom we allow to remain uneducated, to feel alone, to not understand what it means to be a Jew is one more Jew who is targeted by the enemy, the one’s, in my opinion, who wish to totally destroy the neshama within each of us, who corrupt and manipulate our beliefs and use them to take our children, our brothers and sisters away from us.

Gates of Zion (Shaarei Tzion), in one of its various forms or another will continue to battle us for Jewish souls. They will continue to adapt and search for those Jews who have been forgotten or lost and do whatever they can to take them away from Judaism, separate them from our community and destroy the spark of Jewishness that is hidden deep within each of us.

Yet, we have the solution- the atomic bomb, if you will, to stop them. We have the Torah, we have the warmth of community, and we have the joy of holidays and Jewish life. For, you see, it is not just nice of us to reach out, it is a matter of life and death.

If, like me, you are one of those with a more than a few years behind you, you should remember the famous quote of the character Pogo, “We have met the enemy and he is us”.

Such places as the “Gates of Zion” are certainly the enemy. Yet, on a more profound level, it may be true, if we do not take the need and urgency of outreach to heart, the enemy may very well be us, our complacency, our insensitivity, our lack of action for our Jewish brothers & sisters who need us desperately.

Let us do all we can to reach our own people, the time is now and the battle continues.

Let’s take a look, if I may, at the international scene, rather than the local.

Not that the issues of the future of our children with special needs has been dealt with any more than last week, but this item caught my interest, especially what seemed to be an off hand comment by a bystander.

You may have seen in this morning’s paper the attack, yesterday, in Jerusalem, where a local Arab man stole a bulldozer and drove it into a filled passenger bus (repeatedly), ran over a number of pedestrians and injured a number of drivers in cars. Many people were hurt, some were killed and damage was enormous.

Originally reported as a politically inspired terrorist attack, the news later reported that it was the act of a man with “too short a fuse” who just got angry and went on a murderous rampage through the holy city. Let us leave aside that many of us could be accused of having “too short a fuse” sometimes, but I could not imagine any of us would respond by taking a bulldozer and using it to injure and murder random people while shouting Allah Akbar.

Let’s look at this comment, reported in the Jerusalem Post, they reported that witnesses observed that before the attack, the man had been working in a construction site and was ridiculed by a group of Charedi teenagers, culminating in his storming off in anger.

Did it actually happen?

Who knows?

Do the verbal insults and ridicule of children justify an adult to run off and kill people?

Does it matter at all?

We, without a question, cannot place the responsibility of this horrific act at the feet of the teenagers, even if it would be true. People must take responsibility for their own actions. One cannot use an excuse of being insulted to kill, maim and destroy innocent mothers and children.

Regardless of the innuendo that the Post is making, the Arab man was a murderer, a reckless, hate filled person. His decision to kill a young mother, a teacher, a child and to injure dozens can, in no way, me mitigated by the insults hurled at him by teenagers.

Yet, what of those teenagers? Of course, we would need to presume that they actually did ridicule the man and I am not so sure that it happened at all. But, let’s say it did. Is there a lesson to be learnt from this?

Certainly, we need to know how sharp, how painful our words can be. Ridicule, insults, words that strip a person of their dignity are ugly, demeaning and can cause deeper, more profound and long lasting pain than we would imagine.

We certainly do not anticipate that our words could lead someone to become a murderer and certainly not to justify it. Yet, our words do have an effect that is enormous.

Imagine a child, who is always pushed, never “good enough”, never “smart enough”, or one who is always yelled at, insulted or ignored. We know, some of us first hand, how hurtful and totally destructive that is. How about a child who is bullied, ridiculed by friends? How about one who is the victim of bigotry or anti-Semitism?

Words, or let’s be straight- OUR words can destroy our marriages, can take the spirit out of a child or can send a neighbour away from a Shul, a community or Torah itself.

No, we should not anticipate that our words would be the cause of a person to murder. Yet, our words do kill. They can inflict enough damage on a loved one, a spouse, parent or child that the joy of life, the spirit itself could be destroyed. We all have seen it, we all know the victims of broken marriages, verbal abuse and ridicule.

There is no question that man murdered Jews, because he was taught that Jewish blood is cheap and be spilt easily. He was taught to hate and something lit his fuse.

Yet, perhaps we can see this as a lesson as well, a lesson on the pain our words can inflict on each other and mostly, on our loved ones.

Words cannot cause one to kill, but, frankly, words can kill.

Let’s try to be cognizant of that and hopefully be more careful with the weapon we carry just above our chin.

Last week we discussed the serious problem of how our community is choosing to address the inclusion of special needs children into our Jewish day schools.

Sadly, it does not seem that things are, as of yet, improving for these young boys & girls. It is truly sad to see and hear how such a culturally and financially rich community as ours is allowing the future of these children to be addressed in such a cavalier manner.

It is, as if, we believe that if we ignore them, they will go away. Actually, that may very well be what will happen. If we ignore them, if we do not help our children to acquire the tools they need to fulfill their potential, they will surely and sadly go away.

They will go away from our community, from our people, from our families and see themselves in the same way our community treats them- as outsiders.

They feel stupid, because we have not given them the key to open the door to their intelligence.

They feel short changed by Gd, when they are really being short changed by the system.

They feel they have no voice, because we choose to not hear their cries.

Was Shearim School the best we could do?

Did it have its problems?

Should it have been closed?

Who knows?

But certainly, should we really have allowed the school to close before the planning was done as how to better educate and include the students of Shearim, present and future students, within the Jewish school system? That, it appears, is the question.

Be it the “cloak & dagger” politics behind the scenes, be it the finances or be it the ongoing arguments as to what is the best method of educating special needs children- the bottom line- are we really prepared to allow our children, perhaps the one’s who need us the most, to be collateral damage?

The cost of Jewish education is great, the cost of Jewish education with Special Needs is even more, yet, the cost of not providing it is even greater. We can pay the schools to reach the precious minds & souls of our Jewish children with special needs or we can pay with our tears and our broken hearts as we see the look on their faces when they come to the realization that they really are outsiders, somehow less important then the others.

The choice is ours and it seems that it has been made.

Last night I was truly privileged on many levels to attend a very special and noteworthy graduation. I have to admit that even though I was overjoyed by the event, it was, in some ways quite bittersweet. I am referring to the final graduation of Shearim Hebrew Day School.

Last night I was in attendance at the graduation, because my son Dovid graduated from the school. It gave me a lot of nachas to see him at this special time. I was also proud to see Natan Ross also graduate and it was wonderful to see his parents Doug & Shonna so happy and proud.

Everyone of the over twenty graduates of the school had reason to be proud of themselves. Every one of them traversed a long and rocky road to get to this special ceremony. Children from virtually every Jewish day school in Toronto whose special needs and unique learning abilities directed them to this very special school. Shearim was a school that built self-esteem, gave dignity and educated the children who, for one reason or another, were square pegs in round holes.

We listened to the words of the principal as she announced the background of each child and where they would be going next year. It was worth noting how children came from the gamut of schools to get to Shearim. Students from Eitz Chaim, Bialik, USDS, the public system, Chaya Mushke School and others were able to learn together, to play together, to laugh together and to grow together.

One would think that such a thing is not a big deal. They are all Jews. Why should they not all get along together? However, while it seemed just normal to the kids that they could all get along with each other, regardless of their background, it does not appear to be the same for us adults.

You see, the evening was bittersweet because the decision was made to close Shearim this year and last night’s graduation was the last one that this wonderful school would ever have.

Why?

Well, some would tell you it was the deficit, others might say it was the dwindling student body and a third would say that both reasons are true.

You see, however, as Mr David Diamond interjected by his spontaneous speech at the ceremony, money problems are certainly not the issue and a dwindling student body not the cause, but rather an effect.

So what was the issue? The bottom line, I believe, boils down to statements made by people of authority that had nothing to do with the education, nothing to do with deficits or student body- but rather of religious observance, environment and tradition.

Yes, what our kids can do, we cannot do.

Our kids have the ability to see Jews as Jews, to care for each other regardless of the teachers wearing skirts or not, the amount of kipot or the religious affiliation of the parent body, staff or educators.

These statements, as lashon hora (read bigotry) has the habit of doing, started the ball rolling and eventually led schools to not refer their students to the school they need, but rather to stay and be “mainstreamed”. This is not the place to discuss if mainstreaming is better than segregating students of special needs, for; in this case, it is truly not the issue.

There are times when for the greater good we Jews need to see beyond our own way. In this case, there is a need for a school that will give hope to the kids (and parents) with special needs.

Jewish kids from public school and yeshivot were able to come together and become self assured, strong in their belief in themselves and able to cope with the demands of Jewish education.

Shearim gave its students a real shot at a future as productive, proud Jews. Yet, we adults seem to have not been able to get past the sectarianism, sinas chinam and stereotyping. That hatred came to a head last night when Shearim was forced to close its doors on all of the children who need it.

My son graduated from Shearim. He is off to the next stage of his life. Yet, I cannot help but wonder what of all those students who will not have a Shearim (or similar school) to turn to? Can it really be that our internal strife will allow us to sacrifice these children? That we can accept that our dislike, mistrust and fear of each other is such that we will allow our children to be sacrifices to the god of divisiveness?

I know that I often write and speak about the importance of unity, of getting along, of caring for our fellow Jews. I know that I stress it, perhaps too often. Yet, here it is and this time its effect is so profound, so devastating that we really need to take a step back, pause and think about what we are doing to each other.

I am not a master educator, I do not know if mainstreaming is better then segregating in the area of special needs. But I do know that the students I saw last night and over the past number of years who were fortunate to be educated by Shearim have been given a real shot to be successful. They can and have proven it.

Yet, in this case, the question is a smokescreen blurring the real issue of sinas chinam and this time our kids are paying the price, a price none of us can afford.

It was a bittersweet ceremony last night, I saw the dignity in my son’s face as he received his diploma and I have seen little in my life to compare to that. Yet, I cannot help but wonder what of the others, the one’s whose opportunity for self-esteem, dignity and hope were squashed by our small-minded hatred.

The Olympics, China & Nothing on TV

One would have to be hiding in a cave to not hear about all of the uproar regarding the Beijing Olympics, especially with the Olympic Torch weaving itself throughout the world on its way to the opening ceremony in China.

What was usually an inspiring notion of having the Olympic Torch pass through countries throughout the world on its way to the opening ceremonies, this year has been rife with controversy.

People are using this forum as a way of expressing their outrage at the world allowing China, who has a history of human rights abuse in the most extreme ways, to host the Olympics.

We hear that the human rights abuse in China is such that we should not allow our Canadian players to participate in the Olympics as a protest and then we hear that we cannot mix politics with the purity of the sport and its competition.

One side says that the world cannot allow such recognition to a country that abuses its citizens, demonizes leaders of religions and excludes itself from much of what the whole world agrees to do from copyright infringement to the production of safe products.

The other says that sports and politics must be kept separate. If we allow the mixing of the two then no one would be able to hold the Olympics and the Olympics as a world wide competition would become history.

As Jews, what could be our feelings and out actions on this issue?

I believe that we cannot separate our actions from our ethical beliefs. If China abuses its citizens, persecutes members of different religions and cultures and will not take part in standards of safety and world law then we cannot imagine allowing the Olympics or any other world recognized gathering to be held there.

How can we allow our athletes to travel to a host country that acts in such an openly unjust, immoral and corrupt way? The abuse, murder and persecution of so many people by the Chinese government gives us no choice but to stand up and say no!

They are only athletes you say, leave the politics to the diplomats. Then we join the likes of Hitler’s Germany and Communist Russia who held Olympics and snubbed their nose at people of ethics, people of morality, people of peace. Politics is not just in the realm of the diplomat. It is in the realm of each one of us.

We all must take a stand against the corrupt actions of China and tell it that we will not, we cannot allow it to take a major role in the world stage if it is to continue to do what it does. I once heard from Abbie Hoffman (yes I know he is not often quoted in these pages) that one cannot be a democrat; one must do democracy! If one does not act on his or her ethics, then one loses the ability to do so.

Certainly, we cannot get involved in simple internal political issues, but the abuse that China does, the pain it causes it simply not just a small political issue, it is a statement of their overall outlook on human life and humanity.

It is a major issue and one that we tell the world that we are prepared to overlook, to ignore for the sake of winning a few gold medals in race or another. Our doing so is our running the 50-meter dash on the blood of the abused and high jumping over the bodies of the Tibetans and others abused & murdered by the Chinese regime.

People seem to think that sports, entertainment and the arts should not be politicized. That sports and the like, have to remain pure and be kept aside from the harshness of political reality. Frankly, such a statement is heartless. It puts some type of athletic tradition (one that truly did not exist in any way like today) in front of human life and health.

Yes, the fact is that the Olympic Commission should never have chosen China for the upcoming Olympics. But they did and we have to deal with that reality. Do I have sympathy for the young man or woman who spent hour after hour practising to get this one shot at fame? Yes, I do. No one likes disappointment.

However, when we weigh it against the murderous, corrupt government of the Chinese, I am sorry to say there is no contest.

No truly humanitarian nation should allow its athletes to attend the Olympics in China. By doing so we send to the entire world that Hitler & other horribly rancid dictators and regimes can do what they wish, as long as we get our sports!

One cannot pick and choose when and where to apply ethics. Ethics, morality and simply doing what is right cannot be applied at random. As Jews, as humans, we cannot allow nations like China to act as they do and still expect the world to associate with them.

If we did not learn this from the world’s silence about and during the Holocaust, if we did not learn this from the world’s continued silence of Sederot- then I wonder if we will ever learn it?

If we, the Jews, who have been the victims of such inhumanity time and again, do not take a stand at this juncture, how can we expect the world to take a stand at injustice and tyranny?

Let’s think about this when these issues are raised and stand tall for what is right, even if it hurts and even if it means there will be nothing to watch on TV for a few weeks. I think it very well will be worth it.

Don’t you?

Love to hear your comments.

This past week and the coming one as well has been & still promise to be filled with different, yet important commemorations. You see, in one week we have Yom HaShoa, Yom HaZikaron, Yom HaAtzmaut & Mother’s Day.

Not that I am trying to compare the importance of significance of one of these dates to another, they certainly are of different levels of importance and different purposes.

Yet, there are two common themes that run through these days.

The first is that the Orthodox community, on the whole, does not seem to give any significant recognition to any of these four dates.

The reason is quite different for each one, but, for the most part, these dates are certainly not given the importance or significance that one might expect.

Secondly, a common theme is certainly the fundamental idea behind each of these dates and the theme is one that the Orthodox community does fully support and believe in.

The underlying message of each of these days is our need, our obligation, to show “hakarat hatov”- gratitude and proper respect for and to the people that are being addressed in each of these special dates.

We are certainly obligated both individually and collectively to show our respect and feeling to the survivors of the Holocaust. If we observe the Yom HaShoa date or not, one must be very careful to be sincere in showing and expressing proper respect and love to those who gave up everything and spent years in true hell for the sole reason that they are Jews. Losing their homes, their businesses, their families, their innocence, childhood and in many cases, their dreams while barely holding onto their life because they are Jews is certainly enough of a reason for us to be obligated to show them our respect and gratitude.

The same feeling of gratitude, respect and hakarat hatov must be expressed to those who gave their lives or their family defending our homeland, Israel. Yom HaZikaron may or may not be a date observed in the Orthodox community, but gratitude to those who gave their life for us to be able to have and live in Israel requires us to show our deep felt pain over their loss and our respect for what they did.

The same holds true to Yom HaAzamut, while some may not celebrate that date with the recitation of Hallel or parties, all agree that we must praise HaShem and give respect to those who dedicated themselves to our having Israel today. Certainly the acquisition & keeping of Israel as a Gd given homeland to the Jews was and is miraculous.  Certainly, it is a great bracha, worthy of our gratitude and appreciation.

Mother’s day is perhaps not on the same wavelength as the dates I previously mentioned. Maybe it has become totally commercialized and lost much of its meaning.

In addition, the Orthodox traditionally does not observe this date, yet, we all must agree that in its fundamental purpose of showing respect and appreciation to one’s mother is a holy obligation.

Maybe we do not want to celebrate it, but we must acknowledge that the idea of showing proper respect to one’s mother is something we all must do and do regularly.

So, when people ask me, do you do this on Yom HaAtzmaut or that on Yom HaZikaron and perhaps snicker at how we do not give Mother’s day its proper importance, I remind us all that while our community may not be prepared to change its prayer service or go to see Gene Simmons celebrate the Jewish State, we do and we must, be sure to give the respect, gratitude and honour to those who have done so much for us, for Judaism, Israel and mankind.

Those in our community who make light of these dates should take a moment to think twice and look deeper into the reason and purpose behind each of them.

To not observe them or how to celebrate them is the decision of the individual.

However, to denigrate or overlook the purpose behind them, the gratitude, respect, appreciation and love we not only are required by Torah to show but, simply as thinking, feeling human beings, must show, is criminal and goes against the very framework of what Judaism is based on- gratitude, respect and appreciation.

These days are reminders of the importance of giving thanks to HaShem, to those who gave their lives for us, to those who gave us life and to those who dedicated themselves to assuring our life to be better!

Such a show of gratitude compels us to make note of this, perhaps in our own way- but none the less- we must feel & show the gratitude and thanks that these people deserve. Not giving this respect is a flaw and failing on our part that cannot be tolerated!

The bottom line, if one chooses to observe Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Yom HaShoa or any of the other significant dates I mentioned above or not, that, I concede if up to the individual. Yet, the thread of gratitude, appreciation and respect that is woven so obviously throughout each of these occasions must make every thinking, caring person at least hesitate to think of how much has been done for us.

Certainly we should respect our parents every day, not just one day in May.

Certainly we must respect the martyrs, survivors, fallen soldiers, fatherless children and architects of the land of Israel more than once a year-  but maybe at least knowing that these days exist can help remind us of the gratitude we have to feel and show.

Comments?

In preparing for this Shabbat's special Shabbat HaGadol Drasha, I am planning to conclude with the following thought.

I felt that it is something that we can ponder over Pesach and hopefully put into action, each in our own Shuls & communities.

You see, many of us take the idea of reaching out to other Jews and exposing them to traditional Jewish thought, text & lifestyle very seriously.

We are bothered by the increased amounts of intermarriage, assimilation & ignorance within our own people. So we talk about what we have to do. Often, we try to do what we have to do.

However, we sometimes fall into a trap. The trap is that we allow ourselves to "reach out" to our friends; by inviting them over on Shabbat or greeting them in Shul. We open our homes, but too often only to those we enjoy being with.

We are happy greeting our friends. Inviting our friends to our home, sitting with and shmoozin with our friends and calling it kiruv.

We can sit in a shul for years and not actually accomplish what we truly want to do. We are well meaning, but things sometimes just don't happen the way you wish they would!

We grow accustomed to who we are, what we are, not who we can be and what we can be!

Let us take this opportunity to not settle for what we are or who we are.

Let's set goals that are reachable.

We all know the expression. We try our hardest and make our best efforts, but in spite of it all, some things just seem to continually & repeatedly "fall through the cracks".

It happens in our shul as well.

It may be a guest, a new face, a new family, someone saying kaddish, celebrating a Yahrzeit or even a quiet member who is overlooked.

What happens?

No one says hello, and he or she falls through the cracks.

When it occurs, there is intense pain.

What can be more hurtful than isolation?

The worse form of incarceration is solitary confinement. People who are not greeted are deeply wounded. They wonder what is wrong with them, why they are "left out".

As a Rabbi, I have received more calls about this issue than almost any other area of concern.

Our shul is friendly, and our members are warm individuals. We really try to be inclusive, to reach out, to be open and friendly.

But once in a while, someone is left out, and they end up falling through the cracks.

I know why it happens.

We too often all rely on the "other fellow" to welcome the guests.

That's a big problem, because when everyone relies on someone else, no one is left to say, "hello, to invite the person over, to hand him or her a Siddur, to speak with him or her during Kiddush.

If we would all resolve to be that "other fellow", you know, the one who we expect will say hello or spend time talking to the new person- then and only then people would stop falling through the cracks.

Here is what we must do.

When someone new arrives, each one of us must take responsibility to welcome this person.

How are you? What is your name? I am so and so. Can I help you?

It's nice to meet you. Do you need a Siddur? Are you saying Kaddish? Have a Yahrzeit? Enjoy your visit... we would love to see you again!

After all, we don't want even a single person to fall through the cracks.

And when we say "good shabbos" after davening, don't shake hands only with your friend nearby. They will be okay even if they don't receive your blessing, at least you can come back to them later.

Look for the person who you never spoke to before, even though you've been in shul together for twenty years. Your "good Shabbos" will be more meaningful, because it may save someone from falling through the cracks.

Go up to that "new" person or family and wish them a good Shabbos!

Let me tell you, no one, absolutely no one ever leaves a Shul because the rabbi didn't answer a question off the top of his head.

No one leaves because there are not enough Dvar Torah handouts or Chumashim in the room.

No one ever gets angry and walks our, never to return, because people don't put their head down correctly for Tachanun or don't bow deep enough for Aleynu.

Everyone, virtually everyone who leaves a shul, stops growing, moves on or stops moving spiritually, does it for one reason and one reason only-

      They were allowed to fall through the cracks.

In light of Pesach, let's look at this in a special way.

They, the new person, the visitor, the new family or person looking to say kaddish, are like the lost pieces of Chometz and we know on Pesach that we cannot tolerate even one piece of lost chometz!

How we search, we lift things, we look behind the stove, under the bookcases, behind the microwave and in the pockets of every pair of pants, jacket and blouse.

These people, our new visitors are like the lost pieces of chometz that we search so diligently for.

We cannot allow even on piece to be left behind, undiscovered in a drawer, under a dish or in the little hole in the GI Joe doll that little Shmueli has been playing with!

Yet, while we cannot fathom, cannot allow one piece of chometz to "fall through the cracks", do we do the same for people?

Our brothers and sisters? Our neighbours and colleagues?

Do we allow them to "fall through the cracks?" Are they not as important as that piece of chometz?

Pesach is a great time to think about this problem. The Halacha requires that bedikas chometz (the search for chometz) extend to the cracks and crevices, because you never know what small particles of chometz may have fallen through the cracks.

There is a powerful symbolism contained here-in. Chometz represents the good intentions that run afoul, the great plans that have spoiled and turned sour.

That's why we must search the chorin visadakin, the corners and wholes, to make certain our positive aspirations have not fallen through the cracks.

Now here is the essence of it all.

Crumbs have no feeling, while human beings have frail hearts and tender souls, and are easily offended.

We all know that no one, absolutely no one comes into Shul without baggage. Everyone has had a bad experience. Everyone has something that makes him or her "just a little more sensitive" than usual.

We spend weeks preparing our homes for Pesach, scouring and cleaning in a frenzy, searching for the insidious chometz, just to make sure that not one single crumb has managed to slip by- not fallen through the cracks!

If only we made the same super-effort to insure that every human being is greeted properly and given the respect that a tzellem elokim (one created in the image of G-d) so richly deserves.

What a difference that would make.

This year, as we search with our candle through the nooks and crannies of our homes, let's do some soul searching as well, and resolve to no longer allow anyone to fall through the cracks.

Now, that would make Pesach so very much more special.

                  Wouldn't it?       Comments?

Hey, what are you so happy about?

Have you ever noticed when you walk down the street (does anyone really ever walk anymore?) or stroll through the mall that no one seems to be smiling?

Of course, the clerks in the store smile at you. When you see someone you know they almost always immediately smile at you.

But, when someone is walking alone or sitting or simply living their life, do you notice that they just don’t seem to be smiling any more?

I have and I must say, it is disconcerting to say the least.

How about greeting someone? How often do you pass people and they act as if you aren’t even there? They don’t smile, OK. Yet, they don’t even show any acknowledgment of your existence.

Are they deep in thought?

Pondering the mysteries of the universe?

Or perhaps, are they trying to calculate how much 15% off is on the latest Weird Al Yankovic CD is?

Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, I have been noticing it lately and my response has gotten me some very, very strange looks.

What have I been doing?

Nothing amazing. I simply smile at passers-by, I greet strangers when I make eye contact and I do some of those old fashioned things (no, I have not put my coat in a puddle for someone to walk over) like, hold a door open for someone, let them pass me in line or the perennial favorite- give someone accurate directions when they seem lost (no, not yashar, yashar).

Am I bragging? I think not.

All I am doing is what I would expect anyone to do. Yet, the responses I get cause me to believe that people are simply not used to greetings, simple acts of courtesy, a smile or even a gesture of warmth.

So, what’s the big deal?

Well, I believe that HaShem put us into a happy world. A world with pleasure, with nachas, with a warm sun (yes, even in Toronto), love, friends, family and much more. We certainly have reason to smile. Reason to great each other, reason to be happy.

Yet, frankly, we are not. It isn’t that our problems are petty. They are real. There are those among us with serious, serious problems and issues. There is sickness, there is always more month than money and there are interpersonal issues constantly.

So, what to do about it?

I think that we rally need to make an effort to get “out of the box”, that is to get out of ourselves and relate to someone else.

What I mean is that, even with our problems, if we take the time to be courteous, to smile at a stranger, to hold open a door, give a parking spot or let someone in front of you in the bank – to relate in a friendly, kind way to others, to give warmth, a smile or a nod to someone it will not necessarily make them happy- but it will certainly make us happy.

It is not receiving the smile that makes us happy- it is giving the smile. It is not being offered to “it’s OK, go ahead, you only have one item” that will make us happy- it is saying it to others.

My point, we can’t control how others respond. We cannot control how others act- but we can control what we do. If we show others warmth, courtesy and kindness- if we smile- if we give of ourselves- we will be happy. We will be happy even with all of our problems.

It is the act of giving, as HaShem gives to us, we give to others. Not money, not belongings- but warmth, a smile, a nod a greeting and as givers, regardless of the response- we will become happy.

Simplistic?

Naïve?

Sounds like some 60’s hippy stuff?

It might be, but that does not mean that it won’t work.

Try it and see if I am wrong. Reach out and touch someone with a greeting, a smile or a welcome.

Be it in Shul, at home, in the mall or at work. Be a giver with your smile, a few moments of your time and you will receive much more than you ever give.

Give it a try, the smile you see, just may be your own! 

Comments?

Tell me, are you part of the problem?

I have often found it perplexing that while I am having an engaging, interesting discussion with a Jew who is not seriously or critically participating in Jewish life that he or she will almost always attribute their inability to pursue a life of Torah & Mitzvot to a horror story about an nameless Orthodox Jew or rabbi who did some amazingly rude, abusive or insulting action.

Be it a rabbi who insulted him or an Orthodox woman who cut her off driving. Or perhaps they came across an Orthodox Jew who seemed to be dishonest in business or a rabbi who apparently was rude to a salesperson in the market.

Any number of stories from the simple nasty look to the much more serious abusive husband with a kipa, seem to always rear their ugly head as the reason one person stopped coming to a Shul or another stopped learning Torah or a third decided that it is not so bad to intermarry.

It is not my intent to question if these stories actually happened or perhaps that they might be somewhat over-blown, rather there is one very interesting, perhaps somewhat frightening thread weaving its way through virtually all of these stories.

They all, every one without exception are about "Mitzvot ben adam l'chevro", that is, the Mitzvot of interpersonal relations. Not one story from one person in all of my years ever was, "I left the Shul because the rabbi didn't answer my question, or, the community did not take Kashrut seriously.

The person choosing not to pursue Torah always attributed their decision to how another Jew acted!

Now, let's look at the other side. When you meet an observant Jew, someone who keeps Torah, tries to be a good person, really works at it- ask him or her, "define an Orthodox Jew for me" or "In a nutshell, what is Orthodox Judaism?"

I believe that he or she, for the most part will answer, "a Jew who keeps Shabbat, Kashrut & Mikve" (Sort of the Cardinal Mitzvot of Judaism, if you will). They define a Jew pretty much by those three points.

So, now, let's put this together.

If one asks a Jew who is not observant in an Orthodox fashion why they are not, they will often answer, that it is due to some inappropriate action or comment made by an apparently Orthodox person or rabbi.

However, if you would ask the average Orthodox person to define their belief or what their belief expects, they almost always would answer, "Mitzvot between Gd and man (Shabbat, Kashrut & Mikve)".

Here lies the problem.

They are not prepared to investigate Torah because of how they perceive a Torah Jew was acting and we do not define an Orthodox Jew by how he acts to others, rather as how he acts to Gd!

It's like; Men are from Venus, Women from Mars. We see Torah as our relationship with Gd and they see it as how a person treats another person.

Yes, I am simplifying it. It certainly is not this blatant, but, I bet you have seen this yourself!

Haven't you?

The real question, if now that we know how important the way we treat others is, how essential and fundamental it is, how it is the clearest and strongest deterrent keeping others from finding the beauty of Torah- what are we prepared to do about it?

Are we ready to not prejudge others? Are we prepared to greet everyone? Are we up to acting with discipline and restraint in a public place? Are we prepared to smile, welcome and honestly be glad to meet someone new?

Are we a part of the solution or are we the problem?

Now it is your turn.

Comments?

Rabbi Avram Rothman