In preparing for this Shabbat's special Shabbat HaGadol Drasha, I am planning to conclude with the following thought.
I felt that it is something that we can ponder over Pesach and hopefully put into action, each in our own Shuls & communities.
You see, many of us take the idea of reaching out to other Jews and exposing them to traditional Jewish thought, text & lifestyle very seriously.
We are bothered by the increased amounts of intermarriage, assimilation & ignorance within our own people. So we talk about what we have to do. Often, we try to do what we have to do.
However, we sometimes fall into a trap. The trap is that we allow ourselves to "reach out" to our friends; by inviting them over on Shabbat or greeting them in Shul. We open our homes, but too often only to those we enjoy being with.
We are happy greeting our friends. Inviting our friends to our home, sitting with and shmoozin with our friends and calling it kiruv.
We can sit in a shul for years and not actually accomplish what we truly want to do. We are well meaning, but things sometimes just don't happen the way you wish they would!
We grow accustomed to who we are, what we are, not who we can be and what we can be!
Let us take this opportunity to not settle for what we are or who we are.
Let's set goals that are reachable.
We all know the expression. We try our hardest and make our best efforts, but in spite of it all, some things just seem to continually & repeatedly "fall through the cracks".
It happens in our shul as well.
It may be a guest, a new face, a new family, someone saying kaddish, celebrating a Yahrzeit or even a quiet member who is overlooked.
What happens?
No one says hello, and he or she falls through the cracks.
When it occurs, there is intense pain.
What can be more hurtful than isolation?
The worse form of incarceration is solitary confinement. People who are not greeted are deeply wounded. They wonder what is wrong with them, why they are "left out".
As a Rabbi, I have received more calls about this issue than almost any other area of concern.
Our shul is friendly, and our members are warm individuals. We really try to be inclusive, to reach out, to be open and friendly.
But once in a while, someone is left out, and they end up falling through the cracks.
I know why it happens.
We too often all rely on the "other fellow" to welcome the guests.
That's a big problem, because when everyone relies on someone else, no one is left to say, "hello, to invite the person over, to hand him or her a Siddur, to speak with him or her during Kiddush.
If we would all resolve to be that "other fellow", you know, the one who we expect will say hello or spend time talking to the new person- then and only then people would stop falling through the cracks.
Here is what we must do.
When someone new arrives, each one of us must take responsibility to welcome this person.
How are you? What is your name? I am so and so. Can I help you?
It's nice to meet you. Do you need a Siddur? Are you saying Kaddish? Have a Yahrzeit? Enjoy your visit... we would love to see you again!
After all, we don't want even a single person to fall through the cracks.
And when we say "good shabbos" after davening, don't shake hands only with your friend nearby. They will be okay even if they don't receive your blessing, at least you can come back to them later.
Look for the person who you never spoke to before, even though you've been in shul together for twenty years. Your "good Shabbos" will be more meaningful, because it may save someone from falling through the cracks.
Go up to that "new" person or family and wish them a good Shabbos!
Let me tell you, no one, absolutely no one ever leaves a Shul because the rabbi didn't answer a question off the top of his head.
No one leaves because there are not enough Dvar Torah handouts or Chumashim in the room.
No one ever gets angry and walks our, never to return, because people don't put their head down correctly for Tachanun or don't bow deep enough for Aleynu.
Everyone, virtually everyone who leaves a shul, stops growing, moves on or stops moving spiritually, does it for one reason and one reason only-
They were allowed to fall through the cracks.
In light of Pesach, let's look at this in a special way.
They, the new person, the visitor, the new family or person looking to say kaddish, are like the lost pieces of Chometz and we know on Pesach that we cannot tolerate even one piece of lost chometz!
How we search, we lift things, we look behind the stove, under the bookcases, behind the microwave and in the pockets of every pair of pants, jacket and blouse.
These people, our new visitors are like the lost pieces of chometz that we search so diligently for.
We cannot allow even on piece to be left behind, undiscovered in a drawer, under a dish or in the little hole in the GI Joe doll that little Shmueli has been playing with!
Yet, while we cannot fathom, cannot allow one piece of chometz to "fall through the cracks", do we do the same for people?
Our brothers and sisters? Our neighbours and colleagues?
Do we allow them to "fall through the cracks?" Are they not as important as that piece of chometz?
Pesach is a great time to think about this problem. The Halacha requires that bedikas chometz (the search for chometz) extend to the cracks and crevices, because you never know what small particles of chometz may have fallen through the cracks.
There is a powerful symbolism contained here-in. Chometz represents the good intentions that run afoul, the great plans that have spoiled and turned sour.
That's why we must search the chorin visadakin, the corners and wholes, to make certain our positive aspirations have not fallen through the cracks.
Now here is the essence of it all.
Crumbs have no feeling, while human beings have frail hearts and tender souls, and are easily offended.
We all know that no one, absolutely no one comes into Shul without baggage. Everyone has had a bad experience. Everyone has something that makes him or her "just a little more sensitive" than usual.
We spend weeks preparing our homes for Pesach, scouring and cleaning in a frenzy, searching for the insidious chometz, just to make sure that not one single crumb has managed to slip by- not fallen through the cracks!
If only we made the same super-effort to insure that every human being is greeted properly and given the respect that a tzellem elokim (one created in the image of G-d) so richly deserves.
What a difference that would make.
This year, as we search with our candle through the nooks and crannies of our homes, let's do some soul searching as well, and resolve to no longer allow anyone to fall through the cracks.
Now, that would make Pesach so very much more special.
Wouldn't it? Comments?
