Hey, what are you so happy about?

Have you ever noticed when you walk down the street (does anyone really ever walk anymore?) or stroll through the mall that no one seems to be smiling?

Of course, the clerks in the store smile at you. When you see someone you know they almost always immediately smile at you.

But, when someone is walking alone or sitting or simply living their life, do you notice that they just don’t seem to be smiling any more?

I have and I must say, it is disconcerting to say the least.

How about greeting someone? How often do you pass people and they act as if you aren’t even there? They don’t smile, OK. Yet, they don’t even show any acknowledgment of your existence.

Are they deep in thought?

Pondering the mysteries of the universe?

Or perhaps, are they trying to calculate how much 15% off is on the latest Weird Al Yankovic CD is?

Whatever the reason, whatever the cause, I have been noticing it lately and my response has gotten me some very, very strange looks.

What have I been doing?

Nothing amazing. I simply smile at passers-by, I greet strangers when I make eye contact and I do some of those old fashioned things (no, I have not put my coat in a puddle for someone to walk over) like, hold a door open for someone, let them pass me in line or the perennial favorite- give someone accurate directions when they seem lost (no, not yashar, yashar).

Am I bragging? I think not.

All I am doing is what I would expect anyone to do. Yet, the responses I get cause me to believe that people are simply not used to greetings, simple acts of courtesy, a smile or even a gesture of warmth.

So, what’s the big deal?

Well, I believe that HaShem put us into a happy world. A world with pleasure, with nachas, with a warm sun (yes, even in Toronto), love, friends, family and much more. We certainly have reason to smile. Reason to great each other, reason to be happy.

Yet, frankly, we are not. It isn’t that our problems are petty. They are real. There are those among us with serious, serious problems and issues. There is sickness, there is always more month than money and there are interpersonal issues constantly.

So, what to do about it?

I think that we rally need to make an effort to get “out of the box”, that is to get out of ourselves and relate to someone else.

What I mean is that, even with our problems, if we take the time to be courteous, to smile at a stranger, to hold open a door, give a parking spot or let someone in front of you in the bank – to relate in a friendly, kind way to others, to give warmth, a smile or a nod to someone it will not necessarily make them happy- but it will certainly make us happy.

It is not receiving the smile that makes us happy- it is giving the smile. It is not being offered to “it’s OK, go ahead, you only have one item” that will make us happy- it is saying it to others.

My point, we can’t control how others respond. We cannot control how others act- but we can control what we do. If we show others warmth, courtesy and kindness- if we smile- if we give of ourselves- we will be happy. We will be happy even with all of our problems.

It is the act of giving, as HaShem gives to us, we give to others. Not money, not belongings- but warmth, a smile, a nod a greeting and as givers, regardless of the response- we will become happy.

Simplistic?

Naïve?

Sounds like some 60’s hippy stuff?

It might be, but that does not mean that it won’t work.

Try it and see if I am wrong. Reach out and touch someone with a greeting, a smile or a welcome.

Be it in Shul, at home, in the mall or at work. Be a giver with your smile, a few moments of your time and you will receive much more than you ever give.

Give it a try, the smile you see, just may be your own! 

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